The 7 Types of People You'll Encounter at an Inner West Cafe

1. The Coffee Snob 

Cappuccino? Pffffft, that’s not real coffee to this person. They’ll have an organically brewed, filter drip cup of coffee please. No milk, PERIOD.

2. The Food Photographer

Chances are, this person will order the most photogenic item on them menu (crowd pleaser meals...AKA avo and egg on sourdough, bircher muesli topped with seasonal fruit, things that are specifically put together to look good for Instagram, etc.) You’ll probably see this person standing on top of a chair at some point. And before you ask, yes, they have been to The Grounds of Alexandria... Duh! 

3. The Vegan

Not sure if this person is vegan because they’re against animal cruelty, or because they’re keeping up with the vegan cafe trends of Newtown. Either way, you’ll definitely be seeing plenty of their type. A typical meal ordered by this type of person will be along the lines of a soy chai latte and some kind of quinoa dish 

4. The Writer

Always sitting in the best spot of the cafe, usually in that quiet corner at the back where it’s most cushioned and has the best lighting. You can tell that they’ve probably been there for like six hours upwards. Always has trendy glasses. Always has a Macbook. Probably has an adorable pet cat at home. Stab in the dark, probably is freelancer, and writes for multiple journalism companies, including that trendy independent zine that everyone is into. Okay will stop with the wild assumptions now.

5. The Dog Lover 

This person, in addition to the writer, usually has the most sought after spot in the cafe. Usually only orders a coffee or a green juice. Their objective of cafe-going: Make everyone jealous of their lifestyle/dog of choice. 

6. The Yogi

Undoubtedly wearing Lululemon. Undoubtedly straight outta Bikram. Undoubtedly just ordered a herbal jasmine tea and a slither of raw vegan date slice

7. The Rookie (Person who is a regular at Subway and the local Petersham RSL and is therefore totally out of their element)

This person thinks that a ham and cheese croissant is fine dining. They have no idea of coffee terminology and will always go with the safe option. Prepare to see a bacon and egg roll arrive at their table. The only problem is, it will be on a brioche bun, so they will be forced to diverge from their comfort zone anyway.